Geek Goddess - Dating and Relationship Advice

Advice from the Geek Goddess.





Please send your questions about dating and relationships to [email protected]

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Please send your questions about dating and relationships to [email protected] 

 Dear Geek Goddess:

I have said hello and sent a few winks to guys, but the majority of them don't respond back. Are they that shy or should I just leave them alone? I don't know what else to do...I'm about ready to give up on dating altogether because I'm not getting any younger. What should I do?
A bit perturbed
This letter just made me roll my eyes and beat my head against the wall for a little bit. Hey boys, there's a girl out there who wants to talk to you! With a pulse! Respondez, sil vous plait (sp? French = not so good. )

With that said, chances are you're not doing anything wrong, unless you're telling them too many strange things about yourself right off the bat. For example, "Hi, my name is Jane Doe! I like long walks on the beach, french fries and drinking the blood of kittens" might not be the best introduction. Better to keep it simple but impressionable.

Dear Geek Goddess:

I'm a 27yo male, with a female roommate of the same age, both being heterosexual.  We're both looking for dates, but our big concern is, how will our dates react when they find out that we have roommates of the opposite sex?  So far, it hasn't been a big issue, but we have been pretty discreet about it.  We enjoy our platonic relationship, but we don't want to jeopardize our potential future relationships based on something that could be changed.  What do you think?

 - The Listener

Anyone you date is going to be wary of your living situation, of course, so you need to stress to the person you plan to date BEFORE becoming involved that the relationship between you and your female roommate is strictly platonic.  If it actually is.  I mean c'mon, Seinfeld was a fictional TV show, and Elaine and Jerry still got it on eventually! 
Okay, fine, in all seriousness....hopefully the person that you're dating is enough of an adult to realize that it can be possible, and if they can't, then they probably aren't the person you should be dating in the first place.  If you can handle it with a mature perspective, then they should be able to as well.
Dear Geek Goddess, 
My girlfriend and I hope to marry one day. Problem is, she's trying to push for sooner than I am starting to realize I'm ready. And as she keeps pushing, I feel like she's trying to change who I fundamentally am to suit what she thinks a man should be. Particularly in regards to agreeing with her on all things.
I like the person I am, and I stay true to who I am. And I keep trying to get that across, and we end up fighting a lot. I'm trying to be as understanding as possible, but I am reaching my limit (and that's rather high). I got to keep to what I think is right, and I'm usually a good judge, but I don't want to hurt anyone, myself included.
How can I resolve the fighting, and give this relationship a fighting chance, if there still is one?
Nice Guy Trying To Do Right

If she's putting pressure on you, and you feel you aren't ready, maybe it's actually time to move on.  I'm not saying that not wanting to get married right away is THE reason to break up, but it sounds like you're shifting the guilt about not wanting to get married to her - SHE wants to change you, and you want to be true to who you are, so you hesitate.  Time to examine the relationship, and be sure to include her and talk about why you feel the way you do.  Nothing is worse than a relationship where one person (or both people) is holding something back.

Dear Geek Goddess,
I'm a senior in high school and still i've never had a bf, never been kissed and barely dated. is somthing wrong with me? I have no way of meeting guys. what can i do? also even when i do meet some1 it feels like all they want is a hook up.
please help. i'm desperate
-katharine aka lonely
Another one wishing their life away!
I wish I had the ability to tell someone exactly what they are doing wrong, but I can't.  The easy answer is that nothing is wrong with you, you just haven't met enough people in this world to like you for you, or that are really worth your time.  High school is a small little slice of your life, and there's a big world out there to explore, but don't feel that you need to jump in so soon!  You'll get there.  Chances are you won't die a virgin.  

Dear Geek Goddess,

I'm a 20 year old member of this site, I'm having a bit of a .. different problem when it comes to self honesty and sex-lives. Those around me consider me to be a relatively attractive male, with outstanding features. I cook, clean, sew, work hard and earn my keep.. I drive, I live alone, completely furnished my own apartment. So I suppose you could say I am very lucky in life being successful in life as young as I have.  So the problem does not lie in finding dates (Which this site has proven to be very helpful in), but rather my honesty with these dates. I guess you could say I'm .. almost a nymphomaniac. It seems whenever we get into a heated conversation, or perhaps kissing or whatnot my mind seems to take it that extra step further. This can prove very hazardous due to my date's morals, and/or just the very fact of it's too soon.  I don't know what to do. Should I be straight forward with this issue at the start of my date, or when I start talking to someone? Should I openly put this -on- my profile? I'm afraid if I do such, I will be considered just some pig whom is only after one thing, and one thing only. When it's completely the opposite. 


I'm sitting here contemplating how to answer this without sounding like a feminist.  So I give up and will likely sound like one anyway.  For those of you who will be totally offended by this, BRING IT ON.
You're a male.  You're normal.  If you want to bring it up, go ahead.  Maybe you'll change the world of dating by announcing what every male has on his mind about 45 times a minute.  Good luck!
Dear Goddess of all things geeky,

I am in an interesting situation right now. First off, I am Bi, and have a crush on one of my best friends. She likes me back, but in order for us to be "normal" in society (seeing as we are both still in high school almost out) we can't really openly display our relationship. She has asked this dude to the Sadie Hawkins dance, and he's a sweet guy, but their relationship is getting further than just going as friends. I know she really likes him too, and it's obvious that he is totally taken by her. I feel almost left behind... I feel terrible for having this secret relationship with her, but I don't know what else to do...
You need to tell your best friend that she needs to make a decision.  If she wants to go to a dance with this guy, that's one thing, but if she's taking the relationship to the next level, that's another story.  Make her choose, and then take things from there.  My guess is that she's not that serious about you, and just flirting with the idea of trying something taboo.
All of my advice is open for comment.  I always like to hear from my fellow readers, whether you have a question of your own or comments about my good and/or bad advice.  

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