Geek Goddess - Dating and Relationship Advice

Advice from the Geek Goddess.





Please send your questions about dating and relationships to [email protected]

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Dear Geek Goddess,


I'm 18 years old, and it seems like every girl my age is just looking for a guy to get a cheap screw out of. What ever happened to relationships and loving each other truthfully?


I always say, if you're looking for a cheap screw, go to your local hardware store.  If you're looking for a relationship, don't go to bars.


Instead of tackling your question by actually answering it (because what kind of advice columnist would I be if I actually answered people's questions?!), I'm going to ask you a question.   Where are you looking for a relationship?  Obviously if you're only 18, you're too young to go to bars, though that never stopped me at your age, but girls who are your age or even around your age aren't looking for a relationship at this point, and frankly, I think you're too young to be as well.   You're 18!  You have pretty much ten+ years before you need to actually be serious about life and thinking about settling down.   Granted, people do it younger sometimes, but typically those relationships don't end very well.  I'm not saying it's not possible, but it is unusual.  


Relax, take the time to be young and enjoy life and maybe you'll be serendipitous. 


Dear Geek Goddess

I am having problems finding my perfect guy?? I have tried a few date sites and this one seems quite cool with very nice people. The problem is that I am not what would say am "a typical geek". I am very outgoing and I love meeting people, I am quite lazy and wouldn't say I am naturally intelligent and I feel that I am not sure whether I am aloud to be myself and I feel like I might not fit in the "geek" world. I love all types of people and I
don't care what kind of label the guy who is right for me is but I am worried that he might not accept me?

I feel geeky and silly in my own way though, I can name all the states of America in alphabetical order, I watch way to much t.v, spend too much time on the internet and you ask me any trivia about Harry Potter and I can answer off the top of my head!! But i still feel a bit stupid and not sure if I am going to accepted??

Please help me!!



Are you kidding me?  You can name all of the states in alphabetical order and you don't think you're a typical geek?  


What is a typical geek?  Do you have this image in your mind of Patrick Dempsey from "Can't Buy Me Love" or Crispin Glover from "Back to the Future", always stumbling over sentences and bumping into stuff with thick glasses?   The "typical geek" has evolved beyond that, and now geeks are everywhere and proud of it!  They are behind the latest Harry Potter book (okay, well, no they're not because at this point they've probably read it by now), they are at home on wikipedia, they are memorizing pi to 52 decimal places (guilty).   Whatever they are doing, it is an amalgam of activities that aren't necessarily all the same.  They don't necessarily need to be specifically interested in science and math and the LOTR trilogy, though they still can be.


Take a chance, lose the self-conscious act and come on into the site and take a look around, and I'm sure you will be welcomed with open arms.


On a side note, I can name all of the US presidents in order.


Ms. Goddess:

First of all, congratulations on the new baby! Kids are great (I have 3 kids of my own) but I hear grandkids are better. I'll let you know - I have one on the way. Seriously, though, gratz.

I have a remark for Krissy G., who had an attack of shyness when she was among a bevy of available geeks. In her letter she said she knew most guys were looking for 5'10" skinny blonde beauties. 'Taint necessarily so! I was married to such a lady for 26 years (see "3 kids," above) and loved her very much, but now I'm in love with a 5-foot-nothing brunette who I met online. What gets my attention is how she pays attention to me. She's an excellent listener. My recommendation to Krissy is to pick out a guy, ask him a question,
and listen to the answer. Then ask another question. If you show some genuine interest in him and respect for what he does, he won't care that you're not a supermodel.

- Sleepless in NY


Congratulations on the pending grandchild!  I'm sure you will spoil it rotten, as my kid's grandparents tend to do with him.   And congrats on your new romance.  Things sound like they couldn't be better for you.

I think your advice is great!  It will also indicate how much someone likes to talk about themselves, or even how self-absorbed they are.  Thanks for writing in!

All of my advice is open for comment.  I always like to hear from my fellow readers, whether you have a question of your own or comments about my good and/or bad advice.


Please send your questions about dating and relationships to [email protected] 



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