Geek Goddess - Dating and Relationship Advice

Advice from the Geek Goddess.





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Dear Geek Goddess,




I read the letter in the November page from a woman who complained that none of the men she met on Geek 2 Geek were anything close to what she wanted. She always found something bothersome, either they have low level jobs, they write poorly, or they are not good conversationalists, etc. etc. I wanted to make a few comments.


In particular, has it occurred to anyone that the reason why the woman in question hasn't had any luck on dating sites is because she's a PIG?  I mean seriously, what would your advice have been had it been a man writing, complaining that he couldn't find a woman who is perfect and rich and beautiful, with a great car and a corporate job, who would take him out and "wine and dine" him?


You do a good job in some places of pointing out her flaws (I liked the "how 1985" of you remark).  However, I think you should have really called her out on her remarks about wanting a guy with a perfect professional job.


Is she literally that stupid that she doesn't think the computer industry is a profession?  I do take issue with you not calling her out to task for not wanting someone with a "low-level job".  You should have berated her snobbishness; instead, you simply give her advice to ask them about their job in advance.


Many men today are on a "Marriage STRIKE", often because of women just like that writer.  We are fed up with being seen as "success objects", used to further a woman's social standing then dumped or divorced and literally "taken to the cleaners" in divorce court when she's through with us.  We are fed up with a society that demands we work long hours at backbreaking jobs to provide for our families, only to lose those families because we have to work long hours at backbreaking jobs.  And we are tired of women who complain that they can't seem to find the "perfect man", when they are not BY FAR the "perfect woman".


The writer in question seems to be completely clueless as to why she is causing her own problems.  Most men can see a gold digger for what she is (except perhaps, the men who have gold...), and stay clear of them.  At the rate that writer seems to be going, she'll be writing you in 20 years from a nursing home, in her 60's, complaining that she's never been in a serious relationship, has no kids, and nobody to take care of her, but will still have no clue as to how she put herself in that situation.  All I can say to that is, "Good riddance".


PS:  Your advice to the woman before her, to stop sitting around and waiting to be contacted, and instead make things happen herself, was right on mark!


Good point – why don’t you tell her yourself?  Oh wait, you just did :-) Okay, I agree, and part of being an advice columnist is to be objective and try to give the writer the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, you make several good points – I screwed up, I’m sorry, and I’m admitting it.  But as readers, it’s YOUR job to tell me when I do screw up, so thank you.


You give some excellent advice to all women out there who feel that men are supposed to carry them through life – and here’s what I say to that – RESPECT YOURSELVES!  Not in the sense that you deserve to be wined and dined and covered in furs and diamonds and not do a damn thing about it except wake up around noon and look pretty for your doctor husband who is probably cheating on you with the head R.N. anyway.  I mean go out, educate yourselves, get careers, and prove that you are capable of what society has always thought men are capable of.


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